


Out Of My Head (Out Of My Mind)

by Demerite



Series: Trektober 2019 [13]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Begging, Face Slapping, Gabriel is...older, Jim is 19, M/M, Praise Kink, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 10:36:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21014381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demerite/pseuds/Demerite
Summary: “Do I have to tie you up?” Gabriel asks, exasperated.“I’ll be good.” Jim tells him quickly. The ‘tonight’ is unspoken, but Jim is pretty sure Gabriel gets his meaning anyway.





	Out Of My Head (Out Of My Mind)

**Author's Note:**

> For the Day 14 Prompt: Spanking. 
> 
> This is all Aisha's fault. She made me ship this ship in the first place. 
> 
> Title from Machine Gun Kelly's "Bad Things" because it was on repeat for a large part of the time I was writing this.

They have rules.

Not the kind that either of them ever speaks aloud; there’s not generally a lot of talking between them other than the occasional order, or offer, or desperate plea for more, but there are rules, nonetheless. The biggest one, Jim knows, is that they don’t talk about whatever the hell this is.

The second is that Jim _never_ stays the night.

It is expected that he’ll leave once he’s had a little recovery time - and he knows, he always knows, when it’s time to go; something almost imperceptible shifts in the air between them - he’ll leave for his dorm, or the bar near campus where no-one cares that he’s not 21, or wherever the hell else he wants to go. Gabriel’s made it very plain he doesn’t care.

It’s become an inviolable part of whatever it is they’re doing, and Jim’s come to accept it. Doesn’t always like it, yeah sometimes it’s nice to have some space afterwards, to let his thoughts settle, but sometimes, privately, he admits it would be nice to actually sleep with the guy he’s fucking. Or, being fucked by, to be more accurate.

Which is why he’s utterly dumbfounded when Gabriel says, apropos of nothing while Jim’s putting his jeans back on and wondering if he’ll be able to sit down without wincing tomorrow morning in his early class,

“You can stay.”

“What?” Jim says, his lack of eloquence belying his surprise, and inwardly he curses. It doesn’t pay to let Gabriel know he’s managed to surprise Jim, he always manages to turn it to his advantage somehow.

From where he’s sprawled, lazy and sated on the bed, Gabriel chuckles, “You can stay. Here.” He offers, gaze heavy-lidded and assessing, barely a shade above what Jim would describe as _predatory, _“Spend the night. We could make tomorrow morning round two.”

Jim considers his options for a moment. On one hand, his freezing, empty dorm room; his roommate is away this week on some extra-credit research trip, and while Jim might spend most of his time arguing with the guy when he’s actually there, he has no desire to stare at the walls and feel lonely and sorry for himself tonight. On the other, a warm bed, or at least a comfortable sofa, and the distinct possibility of more sex with the gorgeous, improbable man in front of him.

There’s the additional complication of the walk of shame in the morning, but he’s Jim Kirk, the entire campus knows his reputation, if not who he’s sleeping with; it’s more of a victory march anyway.

“Okay.” Jim says, dropping his hands to his belt and then pausing, making sure he has Gabriel’s entire focus on him. “On one condition.”

Gabriel raises his eyebrows in what is either a silent, sarcastic challenge, or a request for Jim to state his terms. There’s always the possibility of it being both.

Jim takes his time, unfastens his belt slowly, deliberately. “Let’s make tomorrow morning round _three_.” He purrs, knowing he’s laying it on thick, and not caring.

Gabriel snorts. “You really think you can go again?”

“Do you think _you _can, old man?” Jim asks, drawing the belt slowly through the loops, letting it slip through his fingers to the ground. He pops the top button on his jeans, slow and deliberate, watching the way Gabriel’s eyes darken as his gaze follows Jim’s hands.

“Brat.” Gabriel says, chuckling. Then, with considerably less mirth, and considerably more heat, “Get over here and I’ll show you just what an ‘old man’ can do.”

Jim drops his jeans so fast that he doesn’t have time to trip over them, and he all but throws himself across the room to the bed. Gabriel surges up to meet him, and the resulting kiss is violent in its intensity, all crushing force and sharp teeth. Jim tastes blood and can’t be sure whose it is; can only be sure that he doesn’t care, as long as he’s allowed to keep kissing Gabriel, allowed to keep touching, hands grasping for any piece of exposed skin he can reach.

Gabriel appears to tolerate Jim’s enthusiasm for a few heated minutes, even returning it, kissing back with equal fervour, but without warning, Jim finds his wrists caught by strong hands, and he’s pushed back against the mattress.

Jim whines in protest, trying to surge up and kiss Gabriel, who is hovering over him with a smug smirk twisting his lips upwards.

“Relax, gorgeous boy.” Gabriel leans in to murmur the words in his ear, a low rumble, full of heat and promise, “We’ve got all night.”

Jim twists, trying to free his wrists, trying to get _closer, _but it’s completely useless, Gabriel has him pinned in place, and when Jim shoots him a furious look, Gabriel just chuckles.

With a final squeeze of Jim’s wrists, Gabriel lets them go, only to push Jim back down into the mattress with a hand planted in the middle of his chest when Jim tries to sit up and reach for him.

“Do I have to tie you up?” Gabriel asks, exasperated, and Jim finds he has to work very, _very _hard to keep the noise he wants to let out behind his teeth. He hadn’t even known that was something he might be into, but hearing Gabriel suggest it, all casual and frustrated, with that undercurrent that Jim knows from experience means he’ll make good on his promises if need be, is turning him on more than it has any right to.

“I’ll be good.” Jim tells him quickly. The ‘tonight’ is unspoken, but Jim is pretty sure Gabriel gets his meaning anyway. He’s proved remarkably adept at working out what Jim is - and isn’t - saying at any given time. It’s a little unnerving, but mostly it makes for really great sex, so Jim isn’t complaining.

“Good.” Gabriel rewards him with a quick kiss, barely-there before he’s pulling away a little, but still leaning over him, one hand braced on the mattress next to Jim’s head, and this time Jim stays still, determined to show that he can do as he’s told. Gabriel smiles, drawing a thumb over Jim’s mouth, tracing his lips gently.

“So good for me.” He says softly, and Jim preens at the praise. He opens his mouth against the pressure of Gabriel’s thumb, letting the digit slip between his lips, flicking the tip of his tongue over the end of it, then catching it between his teeth, nipping lightly.

That earns him a soft slap across the cheek, which sends a hot rush of arousal straight to his cock, making his hips twitch in unconscious response.

Gabriel, of course, notices.

“You liked that, huh?” he asks, his intense gaze not letting Jim look away from him. The hand not holding him in place trails down Jim’s throat, over his chest, fingers finding and grasping a nipple, twisting just hard enough that’s Jim’s brain short-circuits for a moment, and he lets out a loud, ragged gasp.

A second, slightly harder slap to his face brings him back out of it.

“I asked you a question.” Gabriel’s voice is a low, dangerous growl.

Jim is already feeling breathless and a little spacey, can’t believe it’s taken that’s all it's taken to have him this way, but Gabriel has indeed asked him a question, and he manages to find words when it’s clear that Gabriel is waiting for a response.

“Yeah.” He manages to gasp, trying and failing to keep his voice steady, “I did.” He gives Gabriel his best ‘what’re you gonna do about it’ look, because he’s not about to roll over and take it. Well, not immediately.

Gabriel makes a considering noise, and Jim looks up at him curiously.

“You gonna tell me what you’re planning up there?” He asks, and Gabriel laughs again.

“Turn over. Hands and knees.” He says, and Jim proves his own earlier thought about not rolling over and taking is wrong immediately by rushing to comply, rolling onto his stomach and then up onto his knees, bracing his weight on his elbows. He turns his head to look back at Gabriel, gives him a grin and a wink, and twists, tensing his muscles to show off his back and ass to his best advantage.

Gabriel rolls his eyes at Jim’s shameless display.

“You’re such a brat.” He says, repeating his earlier sentiment, “Even bent over for me.”

Jim bites down on the urge to ask if Gabriel would really have him any other way. That’s cutting too close to a dangerously sentimental discussion. Instead, he bites his lip, all slow and deliberate, and asks,

“You gonna put me in my place?”

“You gonna make me need to?” Gabriel’s low growl is coloured with amusement, and he smooths his hands over Jim’s ass in a way that can only be described as gentle. Jim presses back against the contact, arching his back and groaning.

The sharp swat on his right asscheek comes as a shock, but not an unwelcome one. It sends another jolt of arousal through him, making his hips twitch and his cock jump.

“Fuck.” Jim gasps.

“That okay?” Gabriel asks, because he might be a bit of a bastard, but Jim had learned very quickly that he's a considerate bastard.

Jim turns a baleful glare on him, “What do you think?”

“Is it?” Gabriel repeats, “Don’t wanna push you too hard.”

Jim bites back a comment about exactly how hard he’d like to be pushed. “If you don’t hit me again I’m gonna leave.” Jim threatens, “It is so, _so _okay.”

He’s rewarded with a warm smile and another, slightly harder smack on the ass, Gabriel’s big hands smoothing over the already warming flesh immediately afterwards.

“You can do it harder than that.’ Jim says, “I’m not gonna break.“

The next hit _is _harder, and Jim groans in appreciation, letting his head drop downwards, pressing his forehead against cool sheets. _Yes. _

It’s still not enough though, even good as it is. Jim tries to sink into it, tries to just take when he's been given here, but that only lasts so long before he's turning to glare at Gabriel over his shoulder.

"_Harder." _Jim groans, it's not begging, it really isn't, he's just pointing out that obvious here, and the obvious is that Gabriel isn't hitting him hard enough right now. And then, because he wants to get his point across, "Please."

Gabriel doesn't hit him again. Jim hears him moving, and then the mattress shifts. Jim twists around to look at him, feels a sharp jolt of alarm as he realises Gabriel has gotten up from the bed and is walking away from him, but Gabriel only takes a couple of steps, before he bends to pick something up off of the floor. Jim takes the opportunity to admire his ass while Gabriel isn't looking in his direction.

When Gabriel straightens up, and Jim sees what he's gone to retrieve, he can't help the tiny, anticipatory whimper that slips out. _Fuck. Yes. _

Gabriel tests the weight of Jim's belt in his hands, folding it over and wrapping his hand around the buckle. He looks up at Jim's whimper, and a slow smile creeps its way onto his face.

"What do you think?" He asks Jim, "Is _this _going to be enough for you?"

It takes Jim a second to remember how words work. "Yes." He finally manages, and he _almost _pulls off making it sound casual.

Gabriel crosses back to the bed, but he doesn't join Jim on the mattress this time, just spreads one possessive hand over Jim's hip, smoothing over the curve of his ass. "You say stop, this stops." He reminds Jim.

"I know, I know." Jim mutters, impatient. Now that he's seen exactly what Gabriel's offering, he wants him to hurry up and get on with it. His ass feels pleasantly warm from the earlier hits, just waiting for something more, to turn passing redness into bruises.

Gabriel doesn't keep him waiting.

The first hit is loud in the quiet of the room, and Jim's entirely body rocks with the force of it, and he lets out a low sound, not quite a moan, biting it back. It hurts, of course it hurts, but in that bright, sharp way that fizzes through him like electricity, sparking through his nerve endings in a way like nothing else does.

"Too hard?" Gabriel asks, and Jim has to take a moment to remember how words work, and that he's been asked a question, and that questions generally require responses, and that questions from Gabriel _definitely _require responses.

He shakes his head. "Fuck no." He manages, which he feels sums up the situation pretty well.

Gabriel makes an amused sound, and Jim lets his head drop between his shoulders, forehead just brushing the sheets, body tense as he waits for the next blow. There's silence in the room, the seconds dragging on long enough that he thinks maybe Gabriel has changed his mind, maybe another hit isn't coming. The anticipation has him on-edge, he wants to look up at Gabriel, but he holds himself still, and waits.

Just when he doesn't think he can wait another moment, when the tension has risen to the point that his arms are starting to shake, the belt cracks across his ass again, pain flaring, and Jim can't suppress the whimper this time, so he doesn't try to, presses his face down into the pillow in front of him and letting the sounds out as the third and fourth strikes fall.

In the space between the fourth and fifth, Jim shifts his weight, wraps his right hand lightly around his cock, hissing a little at the sensation, too much on the oversensitive skin.

For a breath, he thinks maybe he’s gotten away with it, but behind him, Gabriel goes still and quiet, no more strikes incoming. Jim twists, glances back over his shoulder to meet that implacable blue gaze.

“Hands. Off.” Gabriel growls, and Jim can’t help the disappointed whimper he lets out, but he places his hands back on the mattress like he’s told. “Good boy.” Gabriel praises, and Jim pretends that doesn’t send his arousal even higher, even when it does.

The fifth hit lands and the noise Jim lets out is more akin to a sob than anything else, wrung-out and desperate. He can’t believe how close he is to coming after only five hits. He can usually take so much more than this. Not being able to touch himself is both helpful and maddening; Jim’s hips thrust without his permission, seeking friction that isn’t there. 

He hears Gabriel laugh quietly, and then another hit lands and another and another and Jim loses himself to the sensations, the sharp pain of the strikes, the stinging ache, the warmth as blood rises to the surface of his skin. He's so fucking hard and it feels so fucking good but it's _not enough, still not enough _and he knows it should be but not being allowed to touch himself is driving him insane. He's making sounds, desperate sobs on every breath and with every hit, no longer able to contain them. 

He doesn't realise that the sounds he's making are words until Gabriel goes still. 

"_Please." _Jim manages again, "More, please, I'm so close, I-"

"Shhh." Gabriel soothes. A hand smooths over the abused flesh of his ass, and it feels cool against heated skin. "I've got you." 

Jim whimpers as the touch trails down his ass, Gabriel's fingers catching on his rim, probing gently. It wasn't so long ago that Jim was stretched wide around Gabriel's cock, and even the light touch is enough to make him flinch and hiss, caught between drawing away from the pain and pressing back, in search of the glorious fulness he'd felt before. Gabriel solves the conundrum for him, pressing not one, but two fingers in where Jim's still wet with lube from earlier, and Jim outright sobs at the sting, the stretch. 

It's too much and not enough and when Gabriel's fingers graze over Jim's prostate Jim wails and he feels like he's flying apart and then he's coming, untouched, his whole body twitching and shaking until his arms can no longer support him and he collapses fully onto the mattress, nerve-endings alight with sensation that _just _skims the boundary between pleasure and pain. 

~*~

When Jim comes back to himself, he's still spread out on the mattress, but he's on his side, and there's an arm around his waist, pulling him back against Gabriel's chest. It's the closest thing they've ever done to cuddling. Jim likes it, but he's also aware that there's no way he'll be allowed to actually spend the night in Gabriel's _bed. _He'll spend a few minutes making sure he's not going to fall on his ass when he tries to stand, and then he'll go sleep on the couch. 

When he drags himself out of the bed a short while later, Gabriel lets him go, until Jim heads not for the bathroom, but towards the door out to the hallway, and the living room with it's sofa beyond.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gabriel asks him, and Jim freezes, "I said you could stay."

Jim shrugs, not turning around. "Couch." He offers in the direction of the half-open door.

Gabriel lets out a low snort of laughter, "That couch is a piece of shit, you sleep on that and you won't be up for another round in the morning, and _I don't like being disappointed_." That last part is said in a tone that Jim is pretty sure he's somehow been conditioned to respond to, and despite having come twice this evening, there's a low coil of arousal pooling at the base of his spine.

Jim turns to look at Gabriel, who looks much as he did a short time previously, before he'd invited Jim back to bed and spanked him hard enough that Jim _really _isn't going to be able to sit down in tomorrow morning's class, if he makes it there at all.

"Get over here." Gabriel says, and Jim tells himself that it's not warmth he can hear in his voice.

He goes. 

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know more about Trektober? Click [HERE](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/post/188059640163/trektober) for the info post on Aisha's tumblr, or [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Trektober2019) for the AO3 collection to read our fic. 
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://demerite.tumblr.com/)!


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